Tuesday, May 15, 2007

One Paw at a Time

HOUR: 5 and two minutes

We’ve been in the clink now for almost 5 whole hours. That's like over a day in doggie time!!! It's all going according to plan, though. I’m tired of being just another stereotype, like that insipid Taco Bell dog! I don’t have an accent esse! My birth name is Lupita, and that racist twat Paris gave me the degrading name...loosely translated in Mexican means 'messing with cojones'. I’m a chihuahua, doggit! My species were believed to guide lost souls in the underworld. I just jumped the gun, and am doing it to Paris in THIS world. You know, dog's gotta do...

Tell you a secret, pincho? Paris doesn't make major decisions by herself. I tell her what to do. I do. It's a pain in the teet, but it's a job. I like my perks though. I get to ride around in a Bentley, talk to cops who pull me over and tell me how cute I am all the time. Poor Paris thinks it's all about her. Yip, yip!

This jail is actually cute. If there were music, it'd probably be like some of the after hours' clubs Paris takes me to. Why, if there were a swing in the corner, it'd be like the place we blew lines at last week! Sniff you later with more detes...

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