DID I TELL YOU? I'M WRITING A SCREENPLAY!

HOUR: 5 and eight minutes

God. It looks like I'm going to be here for a long, long time. I think I saw a grey hair.

So, you know I wrote a book? Right, esse? Now that we’re in jail, I’m in chats with The Weinstein Company, to remake that old Tim Robbins movie, only they are going to call it the PAIRASKANKS REDEMPTION. It’s the warm tale of Paris and Nichole in jail for DUI’s. They spend 315 days in the clink. Paris asks Nichole (whose jail name is “Rich”) for a Rita Hayworth poster, and escapes after nights of singing “Stars are Blind” into the walls. They crumble, she escapes, and no one is the wiser, until the Warden removes the poster...to reveal...I can’t do it. I can’t give away the ending, no matter how many sausages you offer me!