Me...at Pride!

HOUR: 5 and five minutes

I'm here, and I'm soooo queer...I lick myself!

This is me at Gay Pride. I was sooo over being fondled in public! You heard about my 'disappearing act?' When Paris was forced to put up signs all over West Hollywood? Well, you know that's a gay neighborhood, right? She was just trying to out me. I was like, "Bitch, no you ditent" and so, I was chillin at grandma's house for like...six days and sh-yip! When she asked me where I was was, I was like, "shut up and carry me, ho!" And she did. She went right out and got me a $1,500 Louis Vuitton bag to carry me in, in fact. I just marked my territory alll over it! Stains for days, sista, daaays! doggitude, it's all in the doggitude!

I've got Paris trained, esse.

I've been in jail for 6 hours now. For a 35 year old bitch like me (I was born 2002, Halloween, puppies! Doo the math! Don't I look gooooood?) that's like...a dog year.